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“Prey” is the arnch-tastic, bite-olicious, cinematic drivel destined to land in Obscureville or Makefunofland. This chomp-olistic mess is shamefully directed by Darrell Roodt and the downright pudency of writing is brought to us by Beau Bauman, Jeff Wadlow and Darrell Roodt.

When Dad the engineer is sent to Africa to work on a dam, he brings his two children, a pre-teen son David and teenaged daughter Jessica, and new wife Amy along for a trip of a lifetime. Jessica, played by Carly Schroeder, shamelessly goes after Amy, driving the my-mama-was-replaced-by-your-skinny-stupid-ass-sword deep into her with a series of uncalled for low blows and teenaged angst. After spending a night in their plush accommodations, Amy, Jessica, and David, head off to see African animals in their natural habitat as Dad goes off to work on the dam. When Jessica, gets annoyed she is seeing no animals, the ranger driving them around to see the animals decides to go off off-roading. David has to go to the bathroom and he and the ranger get out of the car. This is where the fun begins.

A lioness, hiding in the lion colored grasses appears and begins to stalk David. Luckily, the hawk eyed ranger helps David escape the jaws of the hungry lion. Unluckily though, the ranger is eaten, his blood poured all over the car in the mauling. Now stuck with no keys to the ranger truck, they are stuck waiting for someone to come and find them. Lion after lion attacks them, attempts to eat them and has no luck. Dad hires a private hunt guide, and attempts to find them.

I don’t know how the people in this movie even survived the birthing process they are so stupid. Every person who is killed in the movie is killed because they were being Gomer Pile stupid! They might as well kill a gazelle, roll around in its blood and walk up to a starving pride of lions, screaming. They constantly put themselves in the position to be eaten, try to outrun a lion, and drive like they’ve never actually been behind the wheel before.

The lions can’t even be consistent. They will attack a group of two but not a group of four but a little later they’ll attack a different group of four. They happily attack the toe headed blond Anglo folks but at first seem to have no taste for African people. The lions are also the most precise eaters in the history of the animal kingdom. During their feeding, people stay in their death position and when they’re done, there is a perfect and complete bloody skeleton left on the ground. Contrary to nature, in yet another way, the male lions even help in the hunts. Some of the lions will attack the truck but others will not. The lions are the only reason to watch the movie though; the acting isn’t going to draw anyone to the movie.

Amy, played by, Bridget Moynahan, gives a yawn inspiring performance. She is frightened when she should be calm and calm when all good sense says to be afraid. There are scenes where she is incredibly irrational even when she finally has the upper hand.

Dad, Peter Weller’s character, tries to be a bad ass but he couldn’t stretch his machismo around his waist. Oh yeah, and he is stupid. There is a scene where he drives to the top of a hill and he sees something at the bottom he wants to check out. Does he drive his car down the hill? Wouldn’t that be: Faster? Easier? Use less personal energy when in the dessert? Yes. Is it what he does? Not by the hair on his chinny-chin-chin. He runs down it, for what seems like a mile, through the lion colored grass. By that point in the movie I wished he’d be eaten by lions, drop from dehydration and have vultures eat his eyes while he was alive.

“Prey” needs to pray for a screen play, better actors, a better director… You know, I’m wrong. “Prey” needs to pray that no one remembers how bad this movie is! Is there such thing as retroactive production?

LaRae Meadows
www.justpressplay.net
laraemeadows@gmail.com
http://laraemeadows.livejournal.com
http://www.myspace.com/laraemeadows
http://blog.myspace.com/laraemeadows
 
 
10 February 2007 @ 01:57 pm

“Marie Antoinette”, left me fielding requests from my ears and brain to be strapped to excessive levels of dynamite and ignited. Written and directed by Sofia Coppola, “Marie Antionette” gives us another example of why it is rarely a good idea to have all of the ideas coming from one person.
Yes, it sucked Collapse )
 
 
10 February 2007 @ 01:57 pm

“Marie Antoinette”, left me fielding requests from my ears and brain to be strapped to excessive levels of dynamite and ignited. Written and directed by Sofia Coppola, “Marie Antionette” gives us another example of why it is rarely a good idea to have all of the ideas coming from one person.
Yes, it sucked Collapse )
 
 
10 February 2007 @ 01:12 pm


“The Painted Veil” is a beautiful movie about the power of anger as shown through a wife and husband who travel to rural china to treat a cholera epidemic. Director John Curran uses beautiful scenery and sets to frame great acting and a well written story based on the novel by W. Somerset Maugham.
China, Cholera, Walter, KittyCollapse )
 
 
10 February 2007 @ 01:12 pm


“The Painted Veil” is a beautiful movie about the power of anger as shown through a wife and husband who travel to rural china to treat a cholera epidemic. Director John Curran uses beautiful scenery and sets to frame great acting and a well written story based on the novel by W. Somerset Maugham.
China, Cholera, Walter, KittyCollapse )
 
 
 

“The Last King of Scotland” based on the book by Giles Foden, is the intense story of charismatic and horrifying Ugandan leader, Idi Amin. Exceptional writing by Jeremy Brock and Peter Morgan, acting, and directing make a must see movie that sticks in your mind and on your heart like a battle scar.
King me! Collapse )<a href=" http://www.foxsearchlight.com/lastkingofscotland/” >Official Site</a> LaRae Meadows www.justpressplay.net laraemeadows@gmail.com http://laraemeadows.livejournal.com http://www.myspace.com/laraemeadows http://blog.myspace.com/laraemeadows
 
 
24 March 2006 @ 01:14 am
Director: James McTeigue
Starring: Natalie Portman, Hugo Weaving
My rating: 5/5

Remember, remember the 17th of May. And now that the obligatory bad pun has been made, I shall move on to the reviewing.

Big Ben went out with a big bangCollapse )
 
 
Current Mood: cheerfulcheerful
 
 
20 January 2006 @ 06:13 pm
Director: Len Wiseman
Starring: Kate Beckinsale, Scott Speedman
Rating: 18+
My rating: 3/5

So... Yeah. Remember how it felt when The Matrix: Reloaded came out? That's how I feel about U:E. All the flashiness of the original with none of the cult classic quirkiness. But, you know, Kate in a black cat suit and constantly topless Scott Speedman, what else were we expecting? The plot of the movie is rather simple: Celene and Michael do the sex, then go into Super Sayian Mode, then face off against Marcus the Batty and William the Psycho. And then they live happily ever after and have more sex, I guess.

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03 November 2005 @ 12:25 pm
I feel compelled to re-post this (from my journal) because I know some many of y'all are waiting anxiously for Nov. 18. No real spoilers; there's plot stuff, but I promise not to ruin anything. Although if you really don't want to know anymore, DO NOT CLICK THE CUT.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of FireCollapse )
 
 
Current Mood: dorkydorky
Current Music: The Beach Boys: God Only Knows
 
 
16 October 2005 @ 03:42 pm
Elizabethtown

Written and directed by Cameron Crowe

Starring: Orlando Bloom, Kirsten Dunst, Susan Saranden, Judy Greer and Alec Baldwin

Rating: PG13

My rating: 3 out of 4 stars

This movie seems to be getting a mixed bag of reviews from all the pros, but for this ordinary person watching a movie about success and failure, life and death, despair and love, it was a very real mix of elements that are so hard to define and categorize and yet is so very recognizably human. Life is, after all, messy and hard to contain in one little neat description.

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